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The First Annual Best Man Olympics

Choosing a best man for your wedding is not always a cut and dried choice. In fact, making that kind of decision can sometimes be downright stressful. To help take some of the pain out of choosing between your best buddies and help make the choice easier, I have developed a few steps that will narrow the playing field dramatically.

Best Man Olympics
One way to choose your best man if you have several friends and you just hate to have to single one out from the pack is to hold a best man Olympics. This would be a series of games to decide the outcome based on their desire and a little bit of luck. The only fair way to proceed however would be to devise games that did not favor anyone. If you are like me, you have a diverse group of friends that range from the geek, thekolemangroupscreen who could assemble a computer in his sleep during a tornado, the freak, who has to take thirty piercings out of his body just to pass through the airport metal detectors, (and avidly avoids magnets) and the steroid pumping terminator who could bench press all of us. With that in mind, here are the challenges.

Seven Card Best Mans a Stud
Poker! It is a man’s game that requires the kind of intelligence not required to build a computer. You do not have to be pretty to play it and if you can lift a deck of cards, you’re in. It is an equal opportunity game that, with a little luck, anyone could win because our rules are a little different. Winning hands mean nothing. The last player to pass out from days of poker playing without sleep and all the beer and cigars you could possibly consume, wins the round. During the only intermission, the players get extra points and a nap for the best choice of wedding favors. The winner is usually the first one to pick the Las Vegas wedding favors.

Run Men Run
Another contest that is great for choosing your best man is the three legged beer run. With three friends competing, each man pairs up with the other until everyone has gone with everyone once. The man on the teams that has the best overall time at the end wins. This game, however, has to be played early in the wedding planning stage as the beer runs themselves consist of all the beer each man can carry and the beer has to be completely gone before the next run can be made.

Pin the Tail on the Best Man
If you have never played pin the tail on the best man you probably do not walk with a limp. This game involves a raccoon tail, several large darts, and a package of Charlie Brown band aides, family size.

The Jig Saw Marathon
In this game, you purchase three, five thousand-piece jigsaw puzzles with the same basic color design but three totally different pictures. Stock up on beer, pretzels, and Visine because you will need it. You dump all the pieces from all three puzzles into a bucket and shake vigorously. Then you pour the pieces out onto the floor. The first man to put his puzzle together wins the spot. This game takes a while and requires more skill than you would imagine. To make it easier, you can devise an elimination process. The man with the least amount of pieces linked has to take a shot every five minutes for one hour. Then the man with the second least amount every five minutes for one hour and so forth around and around until someone competes his puzzle. Passing out does not eliminate you completely because you might wake up and find the other two contestants passed out with puzzles yet unfinished.

Or you could do a quick round of paper, rock, scissors, best two out of three – and be done with it in less than two minutes. It is entirely up to the groom.

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